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A REASON TO CHANGE

Silverhawk's Graphics

Down and out of dreams, wishes shattered with the stinging of beatings, if a little child does not know what's right or wrong, only learning what may come with spilling an oil can, or running and playing without his shoes on. Running away at the age of 5 and now, at 28 - knowing when to stop. Through foster homes, juvenile institutions, jails, prison, and drunken families promises, I survived battered emotions and untrustful thoughts.

I learned to walk within my ways of guilt and shame of a drunken person only hiding in fear, with only doubts existing with every step. Through years of knowing never to stop I finally found a place within. In the gift of the Lakota culture I know my walk within the circle I live and breath my prayers of hope. I choose my life as I come to know the person I am, who finally believes the weakness I'm not, but as a person I need to grow now.

With only shadows of the past coming and going, but never weakening me, to fall within and doubt my existence once again.

I know I have survived the roughest of lives as a child; the fear what tomorrow will bring. Within this time I have taken to spend following a reason to live a life, I know that life can change forever - if only I believe within this heart; to focus into changing my thoughts to come to know the difference between right and wrong, and come to understand why these things are. I've chosen a path to follow - in truth a Lakota way of looking at me - to understand the person I am as I walk the path to remember the reason I choose to believe in and follow the Great Spirit.

Now I know the choice is mine to release the pain and sorrows of the past. To walk within the circle of life is the reason why I'll be free, and never continue in the steel and concrete, and feel the sufferings of people caged. Within the winds, I believe as my ancestors.

Farrel Eagle Horse
© 2001

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MITAKUYE OYASIN.
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